As I whooshed down Pennel's Vennel, feeling invincible, I was already thinking of ways to describe the experience: almost as good as really great sex? More thrilling than sex? (but not when my husband was involved), incomparable to great sex but on the whole as incandescently exciting? You get my drift. (And my husband is one HECK of a good lover!)
But in order to avoid embarrassing my mom, who is also reading this blog, I'll step away from that metaphor. It was just fantastic.
We were taking some kids from school on an outing for tha day, as part of activity week, to the world-renowned Glentress 'The Hub in the Forest' cycling trail outside Peebles in the marvellous Scottish Borders. click this to go there The site is beautiful and feels remote even though it's only half an hour out of Edinburgh, and I felt great to be there. Scottish kids are like the rest of the population: not given to extravagant emotion without due reason - for example a teacher falling off her bike at great speed. So we were all pleasantly, quietly excited, and I managed a difficult ramp-thingy on the skills loop. Alas, even excellent advice by Dave, one of the mountain biking specialists on the trip ("when going down a steep ramp, lift your bum off the saddle and place it to the back, in order to prevent all the weight from going to the front and handlebars, and you going head-over-heels") did not prevent my fall from grace.
I went down the very easy blue freeride, at a steady pace, in control, keeping the bum behind, and then, suddenly, as I was preparing to fly down a steep incline, a ditch appeared. My bum had taken on a life of its own and I executed a classic 'headlong over your handlebars' move, well known in the annals and inventories of mountain biking, road racing and A&E departments worldwide. As I was gliding through the air, I had a sinking feeling in my gut that I was going down (pun intended) and not in a good way, and all I could think of was....my teeth. I struck the ground with my forehead, smashed my right arm and shoulder again and ended up the wrong way around, with my arm being VERY sore. Again, I felt if my teeth were intact (they were, and so much for vanity), and then gave serious attention to the pain, discomfort and loads of white spots in front of my eyes.
In retrospect, the next bit was vastly funny. The boys who witnessed my smash were hysterically trying to rally adult assistance, and I instructed Kieran to slowly put my arm in the right direction. I am very impressed that I managed to do this with the normal assuring authority in my voice, which we teachers seems blessed with as both default setting and emergency backup. Kieran was great and VERY SLOWLY helped put my arms more-or-less right by the time Malcolm, Dave and the rest arrived. My knights in shining lycra. Let me tell you, when you're feeling like shite just after a nasty crash, there is nothing as reassuring as a person in a Scottish accent telling you what to do, with assuring authority (all teachers), and who continues to laugh at your jokes. I must have been beyond hysterical, because I continued to make the silliest, most awkward jokes for quite some time.
(Malcolm: "Anything else sore or broken?" Me: "My ego". Pffffff!!!)
My dad said he's going to ask me in a week's time what I've gleaned from this experience. I've learnt that I make jokes in an emergency, that I cry only when speaking to my husband, and that I am excessively grateful to live in a country where people have a wicked sense of humour.
I ended up in hospital for one night, observation only, my right arm is still sore as I'm typing away (and in a sling, will keep you posted) and my bike is ok. Here is a pick to keep the sympathies flowing:
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