Off sick

So, how does it work when you're sick in Scotland?
Amazingly, if you're working in the public sector you don't need a doctor's letter for the first three days, and you are allowed to write your own sickie note for the next 4 days. Therefore you can be off work for 7 days before your boss requires an official letter from the doctor. 7 days!!

I say amazing, because the system seems to place a lot of trust in people. In South Africa you have two days of grace, and then you must produce a medical certificate. This has had the knock-on effect of creating a huge market for false certificates: just add the illness.

Recently, while getting my papers from the doctor, I asked how difficult it would be to bribe him for a certificate. He shared some funny requests he's had from patients coming to see him after more than 7 days off the job with trivial complaints like headache and runny nose, demanding a sick note. He assures me that although he takes all complaints very seriously (and he does, bless him!), he is not allowed to write a med cert in restrospect. Another case was a woman who worked two jobs at the same time, and one unfortunate day her shifts were going to clash. So she promptly asked the doctor to write a quick note to kindly help her out of the fix. He declined, of course, but still considers that one of his more memorable stories.

Compare this with my mother-in-law who, in South Africa, manages a large number of personnel. She received a call the other day, that went something like this:
Wife of employee: 'Good morning, I'm afraid my husband is unable to come to work today.'
Mum-in-law: 'Thank you for calling, is everything okay?'
Wife: 'No, he is not fine - he has a demon and cannot work.'
Mum-in-law: 'A what??!!' (Sure she must have heard wrong)
Wife: 'A demon. Very bad, very bad.'
Mum-in-law: 'I'm very sorry to hear about the demon, but your husband still need to get a sick certificate from the doctor...'

I have to remember to share this with my doctor when we next meet!